'ere me now mon. There be a lot join' on in me life ri' now. So no fancy dancy sidewalk social scientism is in da cards.
Thus, here's my cheap and cheerful predictions for the qualifiers from today's first semi-final of the Eurovision Song Contest.
- Ireland - because team Jedward makes an effort and they understand it's all about: 1.) impact, and 2.) social media these days. Not as good as Lipstick though--not even close.
- Romania - well performed fun that causes involuntary toe tapping. We'll put aside the discursive implications of the song title for now.
- Russia - THE GRANNIES!!! HAVE YOU NO HEART???? These ladies could come out and smile for 3 minutes and they'd walk it.
- Iceland - at least one Scandi from each semi qualifies and this is the best. It's lacking something for me, in terms of how instant it is. But all those in favour of 3 more minutes of Jonsi on Saturday night? Thought so.
- Cyprus - it's one of this year's best songs and apparently it's well staged. Even with a ropey vocal Gina G got a top 10; this is in the same league to my mind and could be a massive hit this summer.
- Moldova - in one of the gazillion promo interviews Pasha did his answer for how he relaxes was "I make sex, sex is good, yes?" Yes Pasha, sex is good. So is your song and you're talented as well as cute.
Who squeezes in:
- Denmark - there is always a constituency for a contemporary pop song well sung. And for a pretty young woman. Add some Scandi back scratching and Soluna's back for Saturday night. Fine by me!
- Hungary - I'm not as confident for Hungary, but they've qualified easily when: a) singing badly, b) singing in Hungarian, or c) with naff staging. This is well sung, in English, nicely (if statically) staged. Oh and the singer? I'd totally hit that.
- Albania - I don't like this, but all reports is she's the best singer this year. The juries always reward a great singer (like Lithuania last year), sometimes regardless of the song. Even if the televote is tiny (it won't be, since Greece and Montenegro both have Albania minorities), the juries will have this in their top 5.
If it were up to me:
I'd drop Albania for San Marino, which I should hate and don't. It's camptastic!
Yes I think Greece will miss the final for the first time in a decade. She's not singing well--we've not had a badly sung Greek entry (lots of crap entries; all sung reasonably well) since the 1990s.