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Some principles
Oct. 28th, 2004 11:46 pmI was running an errand tonight, hitting my local queer bookseller to get a copy of Hollinghurst’s Man Booker winning novel. I started the Swimming Pool Library some years ago, but found it too...ghey. Like Isherwoods stuff, and about half of Edmund White’s stuff. I don’t mean nelly, I mean precious. Affected. But this book is supposed to be quite different; allegations of a scene where the (gay) protagonist is off his face and dancing with Maggie «la chienne» Thatcher has rendered me intrigued. Securing a copy wasn’t easy; I hit 4 booksellers the other day: sold out. Bookshop promised to have more by Thursday, and they did.
While waddling from my bike to theelevator lift, I was bemused by how my spending habits have changed over the years. There was a time I wouldn’t have considered shelling out $30.00 for a book--but dropping $100 in the bar on Friday night seemed wholly reasonable. And that shift in priorities is the first notion I’ll list below: some of the principles that have made me a happier, better person.
Spend money supporting culture: If I have a couple less designer coffees a week, and eat home once more, I have more than enough money to buy books. New books. To support creativity, and bring joy and insight into my life (OK some books suck, it’s a gamble). I need to value the written word, and this is a quick and dirty way for me to do. I can always pass the books on to others (including libraries) if the issue of paper consumption is relevant.
Say hello to someone you don’t know every day: A simple smile and nod can be occasionally met with a glare (or wince), but most often the gesture is returned. I find it odd how some people will pass you every day at work (sometimes in the bloody ‘loo), but never make eye contact or say ‘hello’. I never have too muchcivility in my life. And when others have done it to me first--often on days when some aspect of life is grinding me down a bit--the impact is clear. In a good way.
Do something constuctive that someone else should have done: Ever notice a newspaper blowing down the road, or broken glass on asidewalk footpath? Why not clean/pick it up yourself (safely, not impulsively)? Doing things like that keep me focused on being a we rather than merely an I.
Say “no” if that’s the right answer: I sometimes find a colleague or friend is bristly or distant when we’re working on something collaboratively. Quite often they’ll admit--after the fact--that they really didn’t want to participate. I’ve done it too, though not nearly very frequently anymore. An unwilling person can be more a hindrance than a help. However . . .
Do something you really don’t want it, if asked by someone I love: A contradiction? Absolutely. But in this case, I do something I don’t want to for someone for whom I really want to tangibly demonstrate my love and support. For example, I won’t help paint--I’m lousy at it, and loathe it. But I will organize lunch, run errands, watch kids. I also don’t like helping folks move, but I know how hideous the process can be, so I try to do it anyway.
Use the best possible light: I used to be very cynical, and can still be very critical (OK crabby). But when I remind myself to presume people’s intentions are good, and that most people try to do the right thing most of the time, I’m more patient and forgiving.
C’est tout!
While waddling from my bike to the
Spend money supporting culture: If I have a couple less designer coffees a week, and eat home once more, I have more than enough money to buy books. New books. To support creativity, and bring joy and insight into my life (OK some books suck, it’s a gamble). I need to value the written word, and this is a quick and dirty way for me to do. I can always pass the books on to others (including libraries) if the issue of paper consumption is relevant.
Say hello to someone you don’t know every day: A simple smile and nod can be occasionally met with a glare (or wince), but most often the gesture is returned. I find it odd how some people will pass you every day at work (sometimes in the bloody ‘loo), but never make eye contact or say ‘hello’. I never have too muchcivility in my life. And when others have done it to me first--often on days when some aspect of life is grinding me down a bit--the impact is clear. In a good way.
Do something constuctive that someone else should have done: Ever notice a newspaper blowing down the road, or broken glass on a
Say “no” if that’s the right answer: I sometimes find a colleague or friend is bristly or distant when we’re working on something collaboratively. Quite often they’ll admit--after the fact--that they really didn’t want to participate. I’ve done it too, though not nearly very frequently anymore. An unwilling person can be more a hindrance than a help. However . . .
Do something you really don’t want it, if asked by someone I love: A contradiction? Absolutely. But in this case, I do something I don’t want to for someone for whom I really want to tangibly demonstrate my love and support. For example, I won’t help paint--I’m lousy at it, and loathe it. But I will organize lunch, run errands, watch kids. I also don’t like helping folks move, but I know how hideous the process can be, so I try to do it anyway.
Use the best possible light: I used to be very cynical, and can still be very critical (OK crabby). But when I remind myself to presume people’s intentions are good, and that most people try to do the right thing most of the time, I’m more patient and forgiving.
C’est tout!
