Air travel etiquette

[jawnbc]

I fly, alot. I'm not one of those poor sods who travels 100,000+ miles a year, but have been averaging about 40,000 the last several years. My longest non-stop flight was 17 hours (Washington DC-Tokyo); living in Australia made 14 hour flights (to the US, Canada, Europe) almost the norm. And for the most part this has been in economy class. Though I pretty much will spread for anyone who doesn't have bad breath and will confirm an upgrade on the loooong flights. I've mostly stuck to scheduled airlines, since charters can cancel flights and have no obligation to do anything but give you your money back--or not, if they go bankrupt (always pay by credit card, since you can claw that $$ back through the card).

My first flight was NYC-Shannon Ireland when I was 8. I'm now 42, so that's 3 decades of flying. Back then flying was reserved for the few who could afford it. Flagship carriers like PanAm operated round-the-word flights, had piano bars on board for first class, and there was an air of class/style to it all. The social democrat in me thinks accessible air travel is a good thing; the seasoned traveller, however, has perhaps 1/2 a nerve left for callous, clueless, fuckwit travellers. Hence this list:

jawnbc's air travel etiquette tips
1. Walk slightly sideways down the aisle. Most aircraft aisles are a bit too narrow for an average person to lumber long, arms-a-pumpin'. Your hips might well be clearing the seats on either side of you, but your upper body--including your shoulders, arms, and any bags you're carrying on--won't. If you lead with one shoulder slightly, you're less likely to thwack every single one of us in the aisle seats.

2. Don't bag jam in the overhead bin. If you have several smaller bags (think duty free), and you arrive to find other bags already in the overhead bin, take a minute and think about how to arrange the bags. You shouldn't crush anything by shoving your stuff in. You shouldn't wedge your stuff in and then slam the door shut--it'll come tumbling out onto the heads people like me in the aisle seats. And you certainly shouldn't move anyone else's bag from one compartment to another: first come (often gold card), first serve.

3. Load your carry-ons as quickly as possible. With 100-350 people boarding, it's not nice to stop in the aisle, sigh heavily, glance left right up and down, and then start loading your bags in the overhead bin. Be prepare before you get on the plane. Know which bag(s) are going under your seat and which are going above. Know which direction your bag should go in easily and taking up less room (for hard carry-ons, it's usually long way, top handled out)--then you can pop them in quickly. And if you're the first arrivée in your row, step out of the aisle and try to do this from the aisle seat. This can cut boarding times for everyone by many minutes, making an on-time departure much more likely.

4. Don't climb over people. If you are in the middle or window seat, and your neighbour(s) is already in their place, put your overhead bin bags away, then ask them to get up so you can get in. BTW it works the same way if you need to get up: ask first, so they can step out into the aisle.

5. Walking in-flight, trace the bin. Even on a nice calm, steady flight, it's not unusual to find one's self jostled slightly when walking down the aisle. As you walk, gentle trace one hand (or 2 if it's bumpy) along the overhead bins as you walk. It steadies you, so you're not hip-checking the shoulders of the folks sitting on the aisle.

6. Shut up during the safety demo. I can pretty much do the demo of some airlines. Like, some flight attendants do the one-finger, two-finger, or whole-hand point when indicating the emergency exits and emergency lighting on the floor. But some of the folks around might not travel as much; some, like djmrswhite are nervous flyers. So be quiet...or at least speak very quietly...during the safety demonstration.

7. Use headphones. You have a portable DVD player, how kewl! Or your laptop plays DVDs, super! But use headphones, since listening to 50 Cent makes me wanna find the emergency exit and pop the cork (no doubt my Céline tracks inspire similar rancour. Among the uncouth.). And don't blast the music so loud we can all hear it anyways.

8. Recline slowly, when appropriate. You shouldn't recline your seat during meals; ideally not during beverage services (since some passengers are also eating, in the era of bring your own meal). Ditto take-off and landing. But other times you have every right to recline your seat. But don't pop (the button) and slam (the seat back) it. Look back, then slowly recline your seat. That way you don't crush anyone's legs or smash anyone's laptop.

9. This never used to be my playground. When we went to Ireland in 1972, Da bought a staple gun and adhered us each to our seats. We also had to wear our Sunday best, which today seems silly. But if you are going to bring your child on a plane, they cant' use the aisle as a playground. It's obnoxious and dangerous.

10. My chair is not your slingshot. If you want to get out of your seat, don't use the back of the chair in front of you to pull yourself up. Big/fat people seem especially inclined to do this, and the effect can be slingshot like. To get up out of your own seat, turn your body towards the aisle, pull on the back of your own seat and pull yourself up. Alternately, push yourself up using the arm rest.

Comments

[deafdyke.livejournal.com]

What you really mean to say, Jawn, is that the two things fuckwit clueless travellers really need to learn are plain ol' common courtesy and common sense.

#9 For real??

[jawnbc]

You would think.

#9: on long flights, happens at least once, 2 kids chasing each other around.

[detailbear.livejournal.com]

#5. And for us short people, use the sides of the seats. Lightly.

[quirkstreet.livejournal.com]

No argument from me. A question, however, about #10 in relation to #8, for those of us who are of the tall persuasion. There are scenarios in which someone can recline their seat far enough to trap my knees, and then fall blissfully asleep. It may be possible to exit a space of that sort without holding onto the back of their seat, but I'm not positive it's always possible.

I haven't resolved in my own mind whether my best course is to a) politely let the person in front of me know, when he/she reclines, that I'm now trapped, and hope they are willing to work out shared space somehow, b) say nothing now and hope I can wiggle out of the seat later on without disturbing them, or c) only book seats on airlines where they note which seats have more leg room, or always take exit row or bulkhead seating.

[garpu.livejournal.com]

My god, and can I add those who jam their elbow into your side? hello, shared space. keep your freaking elbows to yourself. (not you personally.)

It's not so much kids I have a problem with on flights, but the parents. Especially those who wind up the kids and those who refuse to discipline them.

[garpu.livejournal.com]

I think that's a problem of anyone over 5'5" with an inconsiderate twatrag in front. In that case, you can't help but grab the seat, especially if the other two people in your aisle make you climb over them to get to the bathroom.

[quirkstreet.livejournal.com]

I've begun to think that I may not be able to fly coach much longer for this very reason. My shoulders are fairly wide, and my belly and ass have been catching up to them. It's getting difficult to sit comfortably in seats as narrow as the airlines make them, WITHOUT putting my elbows way further out than they should be. I already need aisle seating for the little extra leg room and the chance to have one elbow and shoulder uncramped, even though I often get hit by passing food carts and passengers.

[garpu.livejournal.com]

That I understand. My beef is with those who deliberately jam their elbows into your sides, as if they're peeing on your territory. It's usually accompanied by them glaring at your direction.

11

[iberianbear.livejournal.com]

11. Don't importunate your neighbour. Even if you think Bush is the best president the US has ever had and you feel the pressing need of making the world know, desist of doing so if your neighbour is answering to your attempts of conversation with monosillabics.

12

[iberianbear.livejournal.com]

12. Keep the praying for later. While we respect your religious beliefs, you should also respects the beliefs and comfort of others. Next time you have to pray to Allah, realize that a seat in coach in a cramped 747 is not the best place to pull out the Quran and reading the verses out loud for everybody to hear. Go to the bathroom and connect with God there, people will thank you for it.

13

[iberianbear.livejournal.com]

13. Bring your CPAP machine with you. There is no other way more humilliating to remind us that we don't have money to pay a first class ticket, than having the 300 pound hairy woman next to us falling asleep for all the flight and snoring really loud all the way across the atlantic and beyond. Please, next time, bring your CPAP machine with you.

[jawnbc]

I would have to disagree. I'm 1,67cm (5'6") and can still reach up and touch the bins.

[jawnbc]

People are entitled to recline their seats, especially on overnight flights.

As you said, if possible, book bulkhead seats. When you make reservations via a travel agent, put in a SSR (special service request) that states your height...then ring the airline yourself and make sure it's been received and actioned. Exit rows also usually have more legroom.

No one is comfortable in economy class on long flights, except on the handful of airlines that have designed their planes to be comfortable (Singapore Air comes to mind; so does ANA from Japan). But even on those planes, it's assumed that everyone in economy class will fully recline their seats after the meal--which renders the gap between equidistant to when everyone is sitting fully upright. On those aircraft, the aisle seat arm raises, to allow easy exit.

Re: 13

[jawnbc]

I wear earplugs, using moisturizer to pretty much seal them. Combined with a proper sleep tablet, I hear nothing.

Re: 13

[iberianbear.livejournal.com]

What sleep tablets do you use?

Re: 13

[jawnbc]

not ambien. They're zopiclone, marketed as rhovane in Canada and Imovane or Zimovane in the US.

They come in 7.5mg tablets, but for most people a half works fine. They're a hypnotic, so they last longer than most sleeping pills, with no hangover.

Re: 13

[iberianbear.livejournal.com]

I use ambien most of the time. How does this compare to ambien?

Re: 13

[jawnbc]

I find ambien gives only 3-4 hours sleep; rhovane more like 6-7. So on the really long (14 hour) flights, a night's rest can be had.

Re: 13

[iberianbear.livejournal.com]

I'll have to try them out. Ambien works well with me, but the effect of them continues quite a few hours after I wake up. The first hours of the day I still feel sleepy.
I tried once ambien on a plane and it wasnt that great, didnt sleep much better than without having used them.

What's the after effect of 'Rhovane'? Do you feel groggy when you wake up?

Re: 13

[jawnbc]

Not very much, perhaps a little bit more than I am any other morning. But certainly no hangover or day-long fogginess.

Re: 13

[iberianbear.livejournal.com]

I'll definitely give them a try. I once tried 'trazodone' and i took too much of it and that made me groggy for 2 days!

[cennetig.livejournal.com]

I, of course, cannot resist a though or three.

2) Agreed. But if its the flight attendant moving your shit around to accommodate someone elses shit...deal. If you are carrying something truly fragil, the only safe place for it is under the seat in front of you. If it is to big, be polite when you inform the flight attendant or anyone else that gets near it.

3) Dear lord we agree. Flight attendants like to joke that the only bag the average passenger checks has their brain in it.

6) Questions after the demo are welcome if you need clarification on something. I used to worry that giving frank answers to peoples questions about why they shouldn't inflate the life vest until outside the aircraft. Now I think that any reminder of why listening to FAs safety instructions is good is...good. I don't know were the stat comes from but I was taught in training that whether a passenger has listened to the demo THAT FLIGHT is the single greatest predictor of whether they will survive a survivable accident. Fresh in the mind I guess.

9) Its not the adults playground either. Be considerate of the people around you. Get your friggin feet down off the headrest of the person in front of you, off the tray table and out of the seatback pocket. Stretching should not involve putting your feet on the galley counter or anywhere elevated. And if you have to do something sexual we would rather you take it to the lav. Just cuss its a red eye doesn't mean the FAs don't patrol the isles. Oh, and your babys shit may be harmless to you, to the rest of us its toxic waste and should not be exposed, cleaned up or disposed of outside the lavatories.

11) if you need something ask. We will try to accommodate you. And you'll catch more flies with honey that with vinegar.

Ok, off to work. Wish me luck.

[jawnbc]

2. Actually, I'll fight the FA on this one (and have, politely though). I'm a gold card member, with early boarding privileges and I always stay strictly within the carry-on limitations.

So my case isn't going anywhere because some eejit who boarded later with a big bag. There's usually plenty of room in the overhead bins near the back...it can go there.

:p

[mikeybill.livejournal.com]

We're all just self-loading cargo as far as the airlines are concerned. But basic manners make up for a lot.

[devilishous.livejournal.com]

Haha what timing, as I'm about to take off on Thursday. My favourite was the sling shot one... haha you have a great eye for observational detail :-)

[quirkstreet.livejournal.com]

People are entitled to recline their seats, especially on overnight flights.

But of course. :)

I wonder if there are body structure factors at work here. Reclining my seat often doesn't pay dividends for me; the seatbacks aren't really tall enough to support my neck and head comfortably, so I'm usually better off staying upright. If the assumption, as you say, is that everyone will recline, then of course I have a problem.

[jawnbc]

Nah, just too many memories of having my face catapulted into the seatback in front of me because some eejit used my seat as a slingshot!

Where you going?

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

word, word aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand word.
I only leap over Mr. Jenner because he leaps over me and well we sleep together and stuff. Plus I am like super flexible and shit.

I would also like to ask people to not recline their seats as soon as they can -even before the fucking meal service has started. I mean seriously. Yeah after dinner go ahead and recline. But christ on a cracker I don't want my meal up my nose.
(one too many long-haul overnight flights has turned me into Michael Douglas from Falling Down)

Sometimes in the back of the plane it turns into cocktail hour or something with all these people hanging out by the lavs doing nothing and it crowds up the place. I do tend to walk about a bit because I get twitchy legs and I can't sleep on overnight flights at all, but I make sure not to get in the way of folks.

And people need to remember to treat the flight crew like they Jesus Christ and the Fairy Godmother all rolled into one. I always make it a point to say thank you to the flight attendants for anything they do for me. Anything. From pointing me toward my seat to being nice folks and giving me a tylenol when I have a headache. They even get a thank you for giving me water. I also smile.
This is why they have been known to give me an extra pillow on occasion.

[quirkstreet.livejournal.com]

Oh, yeah, the dumb primate-dominance games. Blech.

[sahara-harp.livejournal.com]

Number ten. Oh yes. Number ten.

[jawnbc]

That was, in fact, the one that inspired this rant thoughtful, reasoned entry.

[valdemar-golbez.livejournal.com]

My chair is not your slingshot. If you want to get out of your seat, don't use the back of the chair in front of you to pull yourself up. Big/fat people seem especially inclined to do this, and the effect can be slingshot like. To get up out of your own seat, turn your body towards the aisle, pull on the back of your own seat and pull yourself up. Alternately, push yourself up using the arm rest.


As someone who is 6'5", I can say I've been guilty of this. Of course, you simply just need to wait for the person to be out of the seat and you are OK. If you aren't tall, you wouldn't know how nearly impossible it is to get out of the seat without support.

I haven't resolved in my own mind whether my best course is to a) politely let the person in front of me know, when he/she reclines, that I'm now trapped, and hope they are willing to work out shared space somehow, b) say nothing now and hope I can wiggle out of the seat later on without disturbing them, or c) only book seats on airlines where they note which seats have more leg room, or always take exit row or bulkhead seating. Try and book the emergency exit row b/c thats where the legroom is. Of course, others have caught on :(...they ought to have a rule where you need to be 6'2"+ in order to have a seat in that row. Why should a short mutherfucka get a prime legroom seaT?

[quirkstreet.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I try to remember to book the emergency row if possible. I empathize about 6'5"; I'm just shy of 6'3" and a lot of my height is in my legs. I have that problem sometimes where there's NO comfortable way to arrange my legs on a long flight short of kneeing the person ahead of me in the back, which I'm really not willing to do. So it's just grin and bear it. :)

[detailbear.livejournal.com]

Maybe I should say "for the short armed". I'm 5'7", but I have to get help to reach the bins.

A couple more:

[feygele.livejournal.com]

- If there is a thunderstorm, or just SEVERE turbulance, do NOT, make death/crash/plumet jokes with your friends. Even if you and your friends might find them amusing, others around you, who are most certainly within earshot, might not appreciate it.

- Do not cross your legs in the minimal space, using the backof the chair in front's arm rest as a place for your foot. Especially when your shoe is off, and your feet smell. This moves the arm rest, and, sometimes, means that the person in front loses use of said armrest.

- Tip for the parents with tiny babies: Air pressure sucks, and our ears hate it. I don't get annoyed when a small infant cries - their ears are hurting too. But you can help prevent their discomfort. Take out the bottle before take-off and landing, and give it to your baby. Use a nipple with a smaller hole than they are accustomed to - this will make them suck really hard, and help them clear their ears. As a nanny, I flew all over the world with a family who had 4 kids under the ageof 4, and this trick worked for each of those babies/toddlers/child.

[devilishous.livejournal.com]

I'm actually going to Europe to possibly belly dance on an "all-gay" Nice-Rome via italian reveira cruise... my best friend from high school (performs with his girlfriend) set it up when he heard there was an opportunity.

[kj.livejournal.com]

> Why should a short mutherfucka get a prime legroom seaT?

Amen, my fellow 6'5" brotha. Amen.

[foresterx.livejournal.com]

Whats sad is the fact that people need to be told this when it is all common sense and courtesy

[foresterx.livejournal.com]

For that reason alone I have always asked for aisle seats so I could get in and out with out feeling trapped

Re: 12

[stoplabelingme.livejournal.com]

That's not cool. If they're not being excessively loud about it and they're scared, they have every right to say a prayer.

Also, if it's a long enough flight Muslims HAVE to pray at some point - their religion dictates it. Would you tell someone to take their rosary into the crapper?

I'd modify number 12 to a simple "use your indoor voice."