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jawnbc's guide to personal ads and online dating
it’s the new milllenium! New century! New times! We’re all so busy, who has time to spend hours trolling singles bars, dragging home dates, on the odd chance one of the 30 or 100 women you shtupp will be the one?
No one. Which is why online personals--ads and live chat--have become so popular. But it can all be so confusing, can’t it? So here’s some clarification of terms.
Single - Single. Or in a bad relationship. Or looking for a bit on the side.
BM - Bisexual man. As in “accidently touched a girl’s titty in grade 7, though I’ve only ever had sex with, dated or fallen in love with other guys, but think hawt gay guys will find me sexier if they think I fuck women. Giggle!” [Of course genuinely bisexual men liketrapezebear are not what I’m talking about here]
Size doesn’t matter - I have a small one, or one that doesn’t get hard.
Looking for discrete encounters - live with my lover. Or Mum and Dad. Or am in a halfway house and have to sign back in by 9pm
Easy going - boring
Fun - bipolar
Passionate - sexpig (not a bad thing btw)
Like to take things slowly - why buy the cow, when the milk is free?
No fats or fems - Just because I’m fat and effeminate doesn’t mean you can be too
No time wasters - I’m a phreak and most people figure it out after about 30 seconds
Oh, and:
Top - versatile
Versatile - bottom
Bottom - boring, vacuous, tedious, self-involved, cavernous
8 inches - 6 inches
6 inches - 5.5 inches
10 inches - 6 inches
Genuine 8 inches - 7 inches
So get on out there, search the ads, read between the lines and get a-meeting!
No one. Which is why online personals--ads and live chat--have become so popular. But it can all be so confusing, can’t it? So here’s some clarification of terms.
Single - Single. Or in a bad relationship. Or looking for a bit on the side.
BM - Bisexual man. As in “accidently touched a girl’s titty in grade 7, though I’ve only ever had sex with, dated or fallen in love with other guys, but think hawt gay guys will find me sexier if they think I fuck women. Giggle!” [Of course genuinely bisexual men like
trapezebear are not what I’m talking about here]Size doesn’t matter - I have a small one, or one that doesn’t get hard.
Looking for discrete encounters - live with my lover. Or Mum and Dad. Or am in a halfway house and have to sign back in by 9pm
Easy going - boring
Fun - bipolar
Passionate - sexpig (not a bad thing btw)
Like to take things slowly - why buy the cow, when the milk is free?
No fats or fems - Just because I’m fat and effeminate doesn’t mean you can be too
No time wasters - I’m a phreak and most people figure it out after about 30 seconds
Oh, and:
Top - versatile
Versatile - bottom
Bottom - boring, vacuous, tedious, self-involved, cavernous
8 inches - 6 inches
6 inches - 5.5 inches
10 inches - 6 inches
Genuine 8 inches - 7 inches
So get on out there, search the ads, read between the lines and get a-meeting!
no subject
6 inches - 5.5 inches
10 inches - 6 inches
Genuine 8 inches - 7 inches (you dawg)
Thanks for my morning laugh... :-))
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I thought quite a bit before posting that bit. I was referring to gay identified men I know who've described themselves as bi in personal ads and in chats because they know that some guys find bi men "hotter" than gay men. I'm not referring to genuinely bi guys, rather those who co-opt the idea of bi-ness to increase their chances of getting laid.
Which I think is sad. Not being bi, but feigning it.
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My favourites: your definition of "Size doesn’t matter", "Looking for discrete encounters", and "versatile"!
I've actually experienced "Easy going - boring"...