jawnbc | sex même, courtesy of thornyc

1 At what age did your parents tell you about sex, if at all?
When I was 4 I asked Ma where babies came from. She gave me a wholly comprehensible explanation about conception, pregnancy and birth. She talked about love and marriage and the joy of giving life.

She omitted the part about inserting the penis into the vagina. Could that be why I’m gay?

2 At what age did you first witness a sexual act taking place?
Ma and Da had 4 kids, and I’m the youngest. Catholicism mandates that sex be procreative; Ma had an emergency hysterectomy whenI was born. Therefore they were forbidden to have sex again. However I did stumble in on my 2nd cousin Silé getting banged by her fat-arsed creepy boyfriend when I was 8 or 9. Stoopid fook couldn’t tell us kids apart and my brother Tommy copped it instead of me. Ha-ha!

3 What was the first book you read that gave you a hard on?
Treasure trails in the men’s undies section of the Sear’s Christmas Wishbook. I wish this man was straddling my face, though I don’t know why. . .

4 What was the first film you saw that gave you a hard on?
Slapstick, with Paul Newman, Michael Ontkean and the Henderson brothers. Hockey players, locker rooms, sex, my first French Canadian (gardez le but!).

5 Remember back when you were innocent (?) what shocked you most about sex?
~~it was so big~~ It looked so violent. Eventually, when I was ready, it felt so hawt.

6 If you had to redesign humans to improve sex what would change?
The ability to kiss someone whilst they rimmed or sucked your cock (and vice versa)

7 On a percentage basis, from the number of times its offered how often do you refuse sex?
In a sauna, I wave a fair number of guys off. Not based on looks necessarily. I also ignore a fair number of messages I get on gaydar.

8 on a percentage basis how often is your offer of sex declined?
Oh not nearly as many . . .

9 Monogamy or enthusiastic fucking with different partners?
I’m a team player and a people person.

10 Straight men are supposed to have names for their dicks, have you ever wondered what you’d name yours? (if you don’t have a dick insert suitable genital)
Maureen McGovern. I really loved the theme to The Poseidon Adventure. And The Towering Inferno.