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misia makes a wonderful, powerful, concise post, and it starts a great même for those who've experienced sexual violence:
I'm Hanne. I'm a survivor of sexual violence.
No Pity. No Shame. No Silence.
Brilliant.
Very shortly thereafter some suggests adding domestic violence--there's often an overlap, and the link--gender-related violence, most often perpetrated against women--is clear. And so it begins to unravel. Folks soon start adding their own criteria for sexual violence--things like "being objectified without my permission." So powerful becomes diluted, concise becomes verbose, and then the in-fighting begins--whose terms are right, whose criteria?
Some have also brought in being emotionally abused for not conforming well to gender archetypes. One person actually claimed his father berating him about being effeminate was just as painful as a women's experience with rape. That sort of equivocation doesnt' make me think "survivor"--more like "self-absorped wanker".
Regardless of life history.
Oh, and just for the record, My Name is John, and I survived domestic sexual abuse. No Pity. No Shame. No Silence.
And no misplaced sense that I have much in common with the women of Srebenica and Rwanda.
Some people can be such eejits--in the name of "healing".
misia makes a wonderful, powerful, concise post, and it starts a great même for those who've experienced sexual violence:I'm Hanne. I'm a survivor of sexual violence.
No Pity. No Shame. No Silence.
Brilliant.
Very shortly thereafter some suggests adding domestic violence--there's often an overlap, and the link--gender-related violence, most often perpetrated against women--is clear. And so it begins to unravel. Folks soon start adding their own criteria for sexual violence--things like "being objectified without my permission." So powerful becomes diluted, concise becomes verbose, and then the in-fighting begins--whose terms are right, whose criteria?
Some have also brought in being emotionally abused for not conforming well to gender archetypes. One person actually claimed his father berating him about being effeminate was just as painful as a women's experience with rape. That sort of equivocation doesnt' make me think "survivor"--more like "self-absorped wanker".
Regardless of life history.
Oh, and just for the record, My Name is John, and I survived domestic sexual abuse. No Pity. No Shame. No Silence.
And no misplaced sense that I have much in common with the women of Srebenica and Rwanda.
Some people can be such eejits--in the name of "healing".
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Re: Whoops, wrong person
Date: 2004-08-04 07:47 pm (UTC)I think there are very few people who really get how public this all is - including the inappropriate broadcast of self-disclosure to a crowd of strangers, or thinking they're participating in a closed support group and then seeing things that diminish that experience for them and getting upset by it. It's experiences like this that bring it home.