jawnbc | Not native; still home

And so we are here again: Happy Canada Day to all!

I am, as it were, an accidental Canada. In November 1989 a chain of events led me to run away from New York to this dark, green and wet city where the mountains looked like they were about to tumble down upon us. Many people move to Vancouver after seeing it in Spring or Summer; few who arrive in the midst of the monsoon find the long wet dark winter easy to bear.

I was too busy being a mess to notice, really.

6 months or so later it is my first Canada Day. I'm newly sober, my health is bouncing back, I'm about to re-enter my career a few pegs lower than I was when I bottomed out--but I"m grateful to be able to work. And I've fallen in love with the place. Yes Vancouver, but really it's Canada. Canada is my first true love.

I entered this world into a land with so many advantages. My right to free education through high school was the law. And for one small detail perhaps I might never have considered leaving. But growing up queer was a gauntlet of trying to pass. Pass at home, pass in the neighbourhood, pass at school. Must. Pass. At. School. I know that Canadian-reared queers didn't live in paradise in the 70s or 80s either.In fact, I arrived in a country that more less treated us the same.

But it changed so quickly. And just as quickly I "got" Canada. Canada is not paradise or perfect; nor are Canadians. The monarchy thing nauseates me to no end. People should be more outraged about the electoral system and scope for governments to run the place (again) into the ground. And I long ago let go of the "we pay for health care so we pay more for goods and services" argument against cross-border shopping. $8 McJobs aren't liberating anything or anyone...they just line the pockets of the same rich bastards on either slope of the 49th.

But I digress.

Canada--Canadians--have opinions about things. Passionate ones. Deeply held persona convictions. But ~~they~~ we are loathe to impose them on anyone. We're concerned with boundaries, respect, space. We seems to be pretty good at differentiating between our opinions and what impacts our lives. Same-sex marriage is perhaps the most striking example. But it's indicative of something much, much larger.

If something isn't fair, Canadians want it fixed. Just fix it. Being Canadian is all about being fair. Canada is about values: trust, respect, celebration of difference, embracing the complexity of diversity, letting go of the neo-Scottish notion of canadianness from the first 100 years of the nation's history.

I am deeply passionate about the country that redeemed me, that restored my faith in humanity, that literally saves people from injustice, torture and death. I am also deeply angered when people try to exploit our generosity--leaving truly vulnerable people waiting in the queue in harm's way.

I was raised to be proud of my country...because it was my country. It never really fit. Today I am proud of and grateful to my country. Because of what Canada stands for: equity, diversity, affluence, community, beauty, passion, excellence. And humility.

This afternoon some of my colleagues and I had a Canada Day BBQ during lunch. There were 5 of us, born in Palestine, the Philippines, Mexico, the US and...Ontario. They're all awesome people. Canada brought us together. We are the lucky ones.

Bonne fête à tous!