Brenda's wake, Katrina

[jawnbc]

First off, she looked terrible. Brenda I mean, obviously. Easily the worst embalming work I’ve ever seen. Her face was smushed into acccordion folds, her chin was engorged and they put copious amounts of tacky make-up on her. I was gutted to see her: Nanny was incensed. In fact, when we came back for the evening viewing Nanny threw a totally hissy at the fuckwits, and they fixed Brenda up a bit. A bit.

Probably a couple of hundred came through during the two (afternoon and evening) sessions. For a woman who spent an average of 23 hours a day at home, that’s a hell of a lot of mourners. Folks we’ve not seen in over a decade came, many travelled hours to pay their respects. And because it was Brenda, there was much more laughter than tears. I suppose if you’re not Oirish, seeing people howling with laughter in the same room as a coffin must seem phreaky. Don’t worry, we all bawled too.

The day of the funeral was...long. In typical Egan fashion, the event was planned but most of the key actors weren’t appraised of their roles...or that they even had a role. So 4 of 7 pall bearers had no idea--and 2 didn’t get there in time to do it, including David--by far, the closest of her nephews. That sucked. And his sister was asked to “read” the eulogy (not prepare it, just deliver it), but when it was time Aunt Eileen jumped up and read it (she had written it). That was OK, but awkward. I was pall bearer and also did a reading. I fairly sobbed on and off during the funeral, except when I had to read. The Egans are also all about stepping up when called to.

I was surprised to hear that Nanny decided to have Brenda creamated. Her ashes will be buried in a consecrated graveyard (Catlicks can be baked if their ashes are buried properly): this spare everyone from a 90 minute drive to the cemetary, and another horrible moment for Nanny. Instead we went to a catering hall, had a nice lunch, and all trickled out after Nanny left. Which she did around noon, so there was a lot of day left.

So several of us went to the beach. It was a nice day, and the beach was the focus of our time in Rockaway, and we pretty much continued the conversations of the days past: Brenda, our family, relationships, and how lucky we are to be given a strong sense of self. Stoopid me didn’t put on any sunscreen, and my Black Oirish™ roots totally betrayed me. I spent the balance of the day between Ma & Da’s and Nanny’s. I slept a fitful 5 hours then flew back to YVR this morning.

Katrina is, of course, horrible. Bush is a fuckwit. A total tragedy, that was totally predicted. Good governments step in to prevent people making foolhardy choices. No part of the US coast is as prone to storm surge flooding of 20+ feet as the North and West Gulf of Mexico coasts. Stop the onshore development, reconstruct the infrastructure to reduce these vulnerabilities, and let’s make an effort to avoid this heartache ever again.

Comments

[f8n-begorra.livejournal.com]

You're an Egan for sure.
Bless you.

[superbbluewren.livejournal.com]

Funeral's are not fun, but they are a time for family's to get together sometimes in a more real way than for celebrations such as weddings.

It sounds to me like there is a lot of courage in the Egan family, of coming up to the mark when called to. I am not surprised. And reading the funeral notice, it sounds so Irish even compared to my wife's very much Irish family! It would appear that Australian Irish lost their distinctiveness a long time ago.

But laughing around the coffin does not sound so very Irish, but very human. I do remember my brother, the Anglican priest telling funeral stories around my father's hospital bed a few days before he died. His stories lightened what was otherwise a harrowing experience.

My sympathies.

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

I love a good funeral. It isn't a good funeral unless there is laughing and some deviled eggs.