jawnbc: (mourn)
[personal profile] jawnbc
My Nanny died this morning. She lived an amazing life, but I am gutted. Off to NYC tomorrow afternoon; back home Sunday morning.

Anna Kathleen Gibbons was born outside Portumna Co. Galway on 17 June 1907. She died in Mountaintop Pennsylvania on 15 September 2008.

While the archetype of rural Irish farm life tends to be the tenant farmer, the Gibbons were not: they owned their own and employed many to make their business a success. Kathleen was the cleverest girl in a family of clever people, and her Da put great stock in her intellgence. He also fairly despaired at time because of her spiritedness. Never a party girl, she nonetheless enjoyed herself and life.

Most Galway girls had little formal schooling; Kathleen was the top of her class and became a teacher. Outside the Connemara and Aran Islands, few had any Irish; Kathleen set out to master her ancestral tongue and became fluent. Most Galway girls married in their teens; Kathleen married when she was nearly 25, a man of her choosing.

In her early 20s she arrived on the doorstep of her big sister and best friend Eileen. Unable to teach because her credential from Ireland wasn't recognized, she set out to working. She ensconced herself in the ex-pat New York community. She had a grand time, and would settle for nothing. So when she met Patrick Egan, she could follow her heart and head. In short order came Ethna, then Padraic (my Da), Una, Eileen, Kevin and Berna. A few years on and Desi arrived. Qute a few more and Brenda surprised everyone. Having 8 children wasn't usual, except most women with such large families started perhaps 10 years before Kathleen did.

The Egans kept their heads above water on Albany Crescent in the Bronx. They did what they had to feed their children's hearts, minds and souls: Catholic schools, daily devotions, strict discipline. And lots of love. Their 8 children would bring Kathleen and Paddy 18 grandchildren, who themselves had 32 great-grandkids. And one great-great. Most importantly, they gave us family.

I often try to explain my childhood by describing a summer (rooming) house with 20 apartments, about 75 residents--mostly relatives--and only one shower. But really the amazing thing about 154 Beach 114th Street was that Nanny built it with her heart and hard work. Most of my generation lived most of our summers down the hall from our grandmother. She was there for a hug, a laugh, a raw potato, a scolding, or a smile--or all those things. We saw and talked to and touched her every day, pretty much whenever we wished to. She knew us from out the womb; she knew us warts and all. And she, more than anyone, gave us a sense of who we are.

When that house became too much work for Nanny, she sold it to her kids. But she lived only 10 blocks away. so even when she no longer lived with us she was still with us. And she lived in the 124th Street house untilt a mere 3 months ago, when her surviving 4 children could no longer keep her in that house. She split her weeks between Ma and Da's place and Uncle Kevin and Aunt Nancy's.

Ethna, Una, Desi, Brenda and Pop went to heaven before her, as did her granddaughter Katherine, as did all her siblings. I'm sure she's with them all today. I'm sure Brenda's happiest of them all.

I cannot begrudge the universe here, but I'm so sad she's gone. When I was born Ma was deatlhy ill and I went home to Nanny for a few days. She's always said I'm her 4th son and 9th child. The love of grandparents and grandchildren can be special because there's no burden of responsibility, only love. Though no one who knew Nanny would ever dare argue she didn't consider herself responsible for each and every one of us. In fact, she taught us that we were responsible for each and everyone of us. And lucky to have each other.

neart na mban; saoirse rogha

I'm so glad we whooped it up but good for her birthday last year. Here are some photos.

Date: 2008-09-16 03:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mikeybill.livejournal.com
I'm sorry for you and yours that this time of sadness is here. It sounds like she had a wonderful life with a wonderful family. That's something to treasure.
Hugs
Michael

Date: 2008-09-16 03:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gfrancie.livejournal.com
J. I am sorry. She looked like a woman of incredible spirit and strength.
The world and you were lucky to have her.

Date: 2008-09-16 03:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] champdaddy.livejournal.com
sincere sympathy, Jawn...

Date: 2008-09-16 03:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] garpu.livejournal.com
I'm so sorry to hear. She sounded like one hell of a person. Can I do anything?

Date: 2008-09-16 03:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] logisticslad.livejournal.com
My deepest sympathies for your loss.

Date: 2008-09-16 03:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ruralrob.livejournal.com
I'm so sorry to hear this, jawn.

Date: 2008-09-16 03:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wrascalism.livejournal.com
I'm so sorry, buddy! The group photos are amazing, all those hearts beating love for her.

Date: 2008-09-16 03:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greytweed.livejournal.com
You have my deepest empathy, J. She was obviously an amazing woman, and a real loss to the world.

Date: 2008-09-16 04:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aadroma.livejournal.com
Nena, I'm so sorry to read this. (HUG)

Date: 2008-09-16 04:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] puzzld1.livejournal.com
My thoughts are with you John

Date: 2008-09-16 05:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] paterson-si.livejournal.com
I am so sorry to hear that, John.

Date: 2008-09-16 05:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] beverly-sutphin.livejournal.com
I'm sorry for your loss. :(

Date: 2008-09-16 05:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] feygele.livejournal.com
I'm sorry for your loss, J - my thoughts are with you and your family.

Let me know if there's anything I can do while you're out here.

Date: 2008-09-16 05:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jamaisneutral.livejournal.com
I'm sorry for your loss. She sounds like an amazing lady.

Date: 2008-09-16 06:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mt-yvr.livejournal.com
I'm so so sorry. Take care, John.

Date: 2008-09-16 08:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zurcherart.livejournal.com
That tribute to a great woman was good to read. You made it clear entries over the years how much you love and enjoyed your Grandma's company, and how much she loved and enjoyed yours. I know you are sad.

Date: 2008-09-16 09:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] clintswan.livejournal.com
my condolences...

Date: 2008-09-16 09:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] notmypresident.livejournal.com
101 — how amazing.

All the best to you during this sad time.

Date: 2008-09-16 09:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jeneration.livejournal.com
I'm sad to hear of her passing and sorry for your loss. I've enjoyed hearing your stories/reminisces about her on here, and from your tribute, it sounds like she'd be missed by many.

Date: 2008-09-16 11:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mmmblog.livejournal.com
She sounds like a champion and I bet she'd be grateful for the words you wrote for her. Take peace that she'll always live on within you :)

Date: 2008-09-16 12:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] huladavid.livejournal.com
Oh, this was a lovely piece. Grandparents are often amazing people, and your Gran seemed especially so.

Date: 2008-09-16 01:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eressea.livejournal.com
What an amazing woman.

And what a sense of loss you must feel at her passing. My deepest sympathy.

Date: 2008-09-16 03:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jeffbriggs.livejournal.com
Sorry to hear this Jawn. I had both of my grandmothers until my mid to late 30's and they were such important influences in my life. I envy that you got to have you nanny around as long as you did but I am glad for you.
Both of my grandmothers were hard-working mountain people and I miss them so.

Date: 2008-09-16 04:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bitterlawngnome.livejournal.com
sorry to read of your loss :(

Date: 2008-09-16 04:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pectopah.livejournal.com
I was sorry to hear about your loss. I hope your journey back East is safe and the time with your family is good. Your grandmother sounds like an amazing woman.

Date: 2008-09-16 07:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] beastbriskett.livejournal.com
A beautiful tribute.
Warm hugs for you and yours, Jawn.

Date: 2008-09-16 09:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mattblakk.livejournal.com
I am so sorry for your loss, John. Please know you and your family are in our thoughts.

Date: 2008-09-17 01:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] schillerium.livejournal.com
You're in my thoughts. Lots of love to you.

Date: 2008-09-17 03:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bear-left.livejournal.com
She sounds pretty amazing. My deepest condolences on her loss.

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