harumph

[jawnbc]

"So did you grow up in Vancouver?"
"No in New York City actually"
"Oh. So you're really American."

No I am fooking not

I find essentialist notions of identity annoying and frustrating. And not a little bit discriminatory. If we are limited in terms of our destinies by our biology and circumstances at birth, I should be:

+a cop
+married to a woman
+drinking a 24 of beer every couple of days
+the Vice President of the Offaly Society of United Irish Counties NY
+living in South Queens (Rockaway Beach)

I am not/do not any of these things currently. Though I've engaged in related activities for all but one (the cop thang). And suffice to say I have no uniform fetishes.

Except nurses' whites. But I didn't mean to say that out loud.

I never set out to become Canadian. In my mid 20s I moved to Vancouver from NY for a year, with little foreknowledge of the city, province or country. But rather quickly I became mesmerized by Canada and things Canadian. I found the emphasis on community on a similar footing with individuality refreshing. Debates around contentious issues often centred on fairness, with much less vitriol or drama than I was used to as a queer activist in NYC. The streets were clean, nature was nearby but the city quite cosmopolitan. Being unilingual was exceptional rather than idealized.

After 3 moths I got my Care Card, entitling me to access the socialized medicine I'd heard nightmare stories about in US media. I went, I showed my card, I got care. No bills, no problems. I howled with mirth at the novelty: in NYC, even working for a top Wall Street firm and having outstanding insurance, I was still out of pocket until reimbursed several weeks later. Trippy, but in a good way.

Very quickly, I found that many things that made me uncomfortable in the States didn't apply to my unfolding Canadian life. In terms of music, some of the pop stars are wicked attractive Roch Voisine (yum), others less so Rita MacNeil--but all were judged on their talents rather than their "package." A Celtic folk group, The Rankins topped the pop charts and won all the Juno Awards (Canadian Grammys) one year. The average Canuck was well-read and knew what was going on in the world. And a lot of people were critically aware of the differences between the US and Canada, and valued those differences.

As soon did I.

Eventually I met another Canadian-by-choice, and we fell in love. He wanted to sponsor me for permanent residence but the immigration policies of the day didn't allow it. So we filed a human rights complaint. The response? Well, gee I guess this isn't fair, so we'd better change things. Whoa. To celebrate we had a "Mrs. Nearly Canadian Party" for me, red and white motif. I got about 30 Mountie dolls (but alas no Mountie) of various shapes and sizes. And all sorts of Canadiana, including several flags.

Did I mention I love the Maple Leaf Flag?

As soon as I was eligible I applied for my citizenship. A core group of friends came to my ceremony with me, and we laughed and cried. Some were born in Canada, others not. Some were anglophone, francophone or allophone (neither English or French their mother tongue). But everyone said "congratulations, you're finally a Canadian!"

And I think that's one of the big differences between Canada and the US or Australia. Canadians accept new Canadians as Canadians. The anthologist Alberto Manguel once said that "Canadian is perhaps the only national identity to which one can truly become." Becoming Canadian largely doesn't mean that "I've Canadian citizenship, but I'm really..." I am Canadian, not in mere legal terms. It is who I am, it is where my loyalties lie, it is a fundamental part of how I construct my identity.

I think being Canadian is very kewl. I don't think Canada is the best place for everyone. I know it's the best place in the world for me.

Comments

[sinnabor.livejournal.com]

I must visit this place to see for myself.

It's a bit odd living here in California, where I comfort myself with the thought that I will not be here forever. San Francisco is a nice political oasis... for those rich enough to live there. Yosemite is pretty... for those rich enough to stay there. The rest of it seems to be no great loss.

[jawnbc]

yeah I'm pretty lucky to have stumbled into my own personal paradise. I feel very rooted to Vancouver and Canada, even from afar.

Rains a bit though. OK, more than a bit. Well...quite a lot really.

[bearchow.livejournal.com]

Rains a bit though. OK, more than a bit. Well...quite a lot really

Really? You don't say, I haven't noticed ... *grins* ... otherwise, Van is nearly perfect, clean, beautiful, coastal, nice community, FOOD, Vancouverians (?), close to Seattle (but it is not Seattle, believe me), FOOD, the sounds ... did I mention FOOD?

Although I love New Zealand a lot too ...

[mathan.livejournal.com]

I don't know how much travelling you've done around the world, but at some point definitely consider taking some time to travel outside the US. It will completely enrich you, giving you a new perspective.

And definitely come to Canada! *GRIN*

[sinnabor.livejournal.com]

Toronto was my first big city gay pride. (Minneapolis pride was pleasant, but not big.) Montreal is the only place I've watched male strippers go the full monty. I need to see more of Canada. I'll be seeing vancouver in less than a week!

[bearchow.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I think one of the things I still can't get use to in the US is, when someone ask me where I am from, I usually say Canada or Toronto ... the usual response to that is, "you know? I mean where originally ..." or "I am sorry, but you obviously look asian (or hispanic or whatever) ..." or "I meant where is your ancestry ..." ... as if I can't be Canadian or American or an Englishmen simply because I don't look white or black!

I have never heard someone called me Asian Canadian till I got to the US; all we cared about was if I could speak French ; ) ...

[jawnbc]

I have never heard someone called me Asian Canadian till I got to the US; all we cared about was if I could speak French

I hear ya baby!

[clintswan.livejournal.com]

You have made me think.

I have enjoyed my visit to Toronto in the past.

hmmmmmmmmmm

[jawnbc]

well then come on over to hongcouver sometime soon...

[bookbear.livejournal.com]

When Keith and I went to Canada for our honeymoon (to Calabogie, about 100KM west of Ontario [Ottawa? shit. The capital city]), I wanted to move there. We have friends in Toronto, one guy born there, the other who emigrated there from Chicago and obtained citizenship to be with his partner. I wanted so badly not to cross back over the border. I almost left my husband to stay behind. Now, we live in Wisconsin. Almost close enough, but not quite.

[jawnbc]

well very soon, if not yet, Canada Immigration will allow HIV positive partners to emigrate if their partners is a Canadian permanent resident or citizen. If you have/are getting your teaching certificate, emigrating wouldn't be a problem. Once you're in, boyfriend is easy to bring along.

http://www.aidslaw.ca/Maincontent/issues/Immigration/immigrationFAQ2003_part1.htm for more info

[zhenzhi.livejournal.com]

how wonderful you found your home. :-)

[jawnbc]

thanks. hey, free any time next week? my guests depart Sat morning,

[puzzld1.livejournal.com]

although I have lived in Pennsylvania for over 20 years, I will always be Canadian. It never leaves you. I completely feel the love.

[jawnbc]

so good to hear. I feel yours too.

[quirkstreet.livejournal.com]

"I will always be Canadian"

*I keep forgetting this about you*. You must spank me at some point. And I will try to keep it in mind. It is one of the many good things about you.

[puzzld1.livejournal.com]

Gee Pete, didn't know you were into THAT! If you really insist...

[schillerium.livejournal.com]

I believe John Ralston Saul once said that the famous Canadian uncertainty about who we are as a people can actually be a positive thing -- we have one of the few national identities that can be readily adapted to new circumstances, new ideas and new influences, and this can in fact make us stronger, rather than weaker. Because as difficult as it can be, sometimes, to articulate what being Canadian means in the same way as being American or British or Vietnamese means something, there's still this ineffable Canadianness that encompasses everybody from the pur laine Québécois to the new immigrant from Asia.

We ain't perfect, but we've got our own little bit of heaven right here. Even if sometimes it takes a beer commercial to tell us who we are.

[jawnbc]

all true. and glad to hear from you.

[quirkstreet.livejournal.com]

"I find essentialist notions of identity annoying and frustrating."

Oy. You said a mouthful.

Catching up on this version of your history was fun. I had read bits and pieces previously, but nothing with this kind of chronology. I got to know you as that cute British Columbian guy who was in Australia. Only later did I understand that you had a fascinating New Yawk back story.

But I fear I've still made a mistake. I've recently enjoyed telling people "I have a friend on Live Journal who's a Brawnx-Canadian living in Sydney" and watching their mouths drop open. [Because I'm bad, I'm baaad, really really bad! :-)] Have I been getting the ancestral borough all wrong? You know how Bostonians are with geography anywhere outside of Route 128.

[jawnbc]

outsida rowte 128, watcha wanna go theah faw?

Family from the Bronx, i was born in Manhattan. But our family life always centred around Rocakway....wait a sec...I come up in your conversations in real time with real people?

[quirkstreet.livejournal.com]

"conversations in real time with real people"

Well, with Woody and Pepper, anyway. :)

.... and you know me. I'm apt, when I hear essentialist identity categories getting bandied about, to point out the monkey wrenches already in 'em. Saying I know someone who's a Canadian from the Bronx tends to spin people's gyros productively. If I haven't done that IRL yet, beyond the family, I bet it's just a matter of time. It's a fabulous teaching moment. Especially when so many people have already heard my yada yada about sexual identity complexity.

If they like bearish types, I usually also mention what a woofer you are. :)

[jawnbc]

*blush*

[art-thirst.livejournal.com]

The one that that really bothers me is calling people from the US, Americans! As if, Canada isn't part of the Americas, nor Mexico, nor Brasil, nor Cuba. Talking about the French being chauvanistic? Humph!

Anyway, I've been wanting to visit Canada for a long time. Maybe I'll be able to get there once my finances improve. I signed my teaching contract last night! Praise da lawd!

[mathan.livejournal.com]

Ah, but in Canada and Mexico we are North American, not American. Big difference. :)

After the term American comes from the name of the country in which you reside - United States of America... American sounds better than Statian in that regard. :D

[jawnbc]

glad to hear you got the contract. but generally Canucks are quite happy to leave the term American for US folks.

[mathan.livejournal.com]

*GRIN* It's funny, I was one of those people who, in the 80s and 90s, truly believed Canada sucked because we were not the US. Our music sucked, the opportunities were not as good, etc... I saw myself moving to the Bay area and working for some tech firm.

Glad that didn't happen! :)

It was actually when I was in England in 95/96, that I realized Canada is cool. We were hearing Alanis Morisette on the radio ALL the time, and I was doing my standard schtick of, "Oh, Canadian music sucks. Alanis? I know people who went to school with her and she was a complete bitch. She used to be a teeny-bopper, trying to sing dance crap, and her hair! OMG!" The truth being, there was certainly much much more than meets the eye about Canadian artists, and, well, Canada was making it's mark on the international stage.

And then I realized, through travelling, just how good we have it in Canada. We can create our own opportunities. Our music is internationally recognized whether it's some folk singler from Newfoundland to Celine Dion belting her voice in Las Vegas.

Canada is not a pretend country, we are North American, but we're not American. We will never accept assimilation, or be a melting pot of conformity in the sense of losing one's own identity.

[jawnbc]

you got that right baby! We rock