jawnbc | et je brule et tu bruleras

I have become one of the undoctored: 6 months ago I had the best Dr. evar, but he's retired. The guy who's bought is practice is only working 2x/week until January. Earliest appointment? Late November.

I've had a proctological problem for several weeks now. I went to the STI clinic to check for an immaculate infection (none) and 'rhoids were excluded. Went to the nearest public health clinic...only to find it's no longer a drop-in clinic. So I was forced to hit one of the chain clinics that's popped up all over BC. One where even when the waiting room is empty you're told "come back in 30 minutes." No, I'll wait, thanks. And it was more like 15...

I heard the doctor ~~lecturing~~ speaking to another patient in the sort of stentorian, marginally condescending tone that no one better ever use with any of my mother's children. When he tried to diagnose me without: a) an exam or b) taking any history I gave him The Stare and he reset. "Put this gown on and I'll be back in 2 minutes." "Gown" as in a paper sheet--nothing to put on so much as lie under.

I assumed the position and he said "yeah, you're right, definitely not hemarhoids. It's fungal. Looks really uncomfortable."

Uh, yeah, do you know any man who will cheerfully submit to a rectal exam to point out a problem down there? Even a big gay like me? Exact. it's been more than uncomfortable, dude.

We had a chat, I left with a 'script, and later tonight I'll begin operation defungistation. He says I should feel better in about a week.