Grade 4 faux juif*

[jawnbc]

j4.jpg
Originally uploaded by jawnbc.

Aside from polyster clothes and bad haircuts, my hobbies in grade 4 included terrifying my parents.

If having a veritable principessa for a son wasn't perplexing enough, my award-winning essay for Mrs. Adler's class nearly did my parents in:

Why I wish I was Jewish by John P. Egan

There is probably still the outline of Ma's face in the kitchen linoleum after receiving Mrs. Adler's enervated phone call....*thud*

faux as in false, juif as in Jew. For you yutz & goyim out there.

Comments

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

Oh my god that made me laugh out loud.

Was it because of the potential presents you might receive what with Hannukah and a bar mitzvah that made you keen on the whole Jewish thing?

[jawnbc]

Nah it was probably the hypnotic individualistic ethos that wholly flies in the face of Catlick communitarianism. ;)

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

novel.
I just liked all the boys who lacked sexual hang-ups.

[garpu.livejournal.com]

I'm sure your good "Oirish" family loved that one... :)

[jawnbc]

Da, of course, never.said.a.word.

heh heh

[mikeybill.livejournal.com]

Mrs Adler didn't fault you for not using the subjunctive: "Why I wish I were Jewish" ?

[jawnbc]

I grew up in America: there is no subjunctive in American English ;)

[I originally wrote were but decided it was inauthentic]

[feygele.livejournal.com]

You cannot just drop that bomb and not give us more.

I beseech you to post the full paper, if you still have it somewhere. If not, it is your duty to give us the outline, at the very least.

[jawnbc]

I wish I had more...but I had completely forgotten it until I started writing this entry.

I do remember mention Yom Kippur, Rosh Hashonah (sic) and Simchat Torah.

And I'm willing to be cash/money that if I asked Ma she'd deny it ever happened.

[deafdyke.livejournal.com]

Were you feeling especially persecuted in the 4th grade, honey?

[devcubber.livejournal.com]

love the ruching along your collar seams...very NOW!

My little boy is in 4th grade right now...and today after school, the teacher called to ask me if Sandra Bullock had truly been calling our house....I really did not know how to respond except for "um, er, no?!"

I too would kill to read that essay!

[scream4noreason.livejournal.com]

I think your son is gay.

[fao.livejournal.com]

Best-school's-essay-ever!
How you manage to survive school being SO avantgarde?

Hugs!!