bum de bum bum
Jul. 23rd, 2003 12:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jawnbcSo I was sitting in Burger King today, scarfing down a Whopper,
Suffice to say I see no overt link between a cheesburger and hot man2man sex. Except that I fantasize about a 3 hour session followed by pizza in bed.
But I digress.
I love my hole. I do. I take good care of it, keep it nice and tidy, and try to make sure it's "massaged" at lease twice a week. Props to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
querrelle for help in this regard. How selfless of him.
A long time ago I was one of the Uptight ones. No one got near my rear with anything bigger than their tongue. No fingers, certainly no cocks. On the queer continuum, being butt boy trumped being sockcucker--at least to me. Apparently there are a number of str8 guys who'll take it up the bum but who'd never suck cock. Cause that's gay. Eh? So I rooted my way through many, many men. I enjoyed poking other guys, and I suspect they enjoyed my poking them. Gawd knows I endeavoured to break the cycle of Oirish fooking (Oirish foreplay: aw jaysus tanks alot, dat woz fookin grand!), and make it last more than 30 seconds. Being a hunky sockcucking top made me very popular.
Then I fell in love with another man. D'oh! And it stood to reason that, if I couldn't be expected to go without pumping hole on a regular basis, how could I expect my boyfriends to do without? So equipped with a copy of Anal pleasure and health, I started training my hole to survive getting fucked. The book helped. Poppers really helped. Eventually I worked myself up to a small vibrator (15". KIDDING!), and began to look for someone to "practice" with.
Found him. For some reason I had to do it au naturel: no condom, in NY in 1987. Not too bright, eh. He wasn't keen, though we were both HIV negative. But he acquiesced, and we got down to it. Or he got down on it. And it was very uncomfortable...until he came. Then that wee bit of extra lube hit some sort of switch, leaving me to utter the immortal words "don't even think about pulling that out of me yet." It was like the lightbulb above my head flicked on, burned bright and slid up my bum. Magique.
So the 64000$ question is:
Is the hole more than the sum of its parts?
Suffice to say I see no overt link between a cheesburger and hot man2man sex. Except that I fantasize about a 3 hour session followed by pizza in bed.
But I digress.
I love my hole. I do. I take good care of it, keep it nice and tidy, and try to make sure it's "massaged" at lease twice a week. Props to
querrelle for help in this regard. How selfless of him.A long time ago I was one of the Uptight ones. No one got near my rear with anything bigger than their tongue. No fingers, certainly no cocks. On the queer continuum, being butt boy trumped being sockcucker--at least to me. Apparently there are a number of str8 guys who'll take it up the bum but who'd never suck cock. Cause that's gay. Eh? So I rooted my way through many, many men. I enjoyed poking other guys, and I suspect they enjoyed my poking them. Gawd knows I endeavoured to break the cycle of Oirish fooking (Oirish foreplay: aw jaysus tanks alot, dat woz fookin grand!), and make it last more than 30 seconds. Being a hunky sockcucking top made me very popular.
Then I fell in love with another man. D'oh! And it stood to reason that, if I couldn't be expected to go without pumping hole on a regular basis, how could I expect my boyfriends to do without? So equipped with a copy of Anal pleasure and health, I started training my hole to survive getting fucked. The book helped. Poppers really helped. Eventually I worked myself up to a small vibrator (15". KIDDING!), and began to look for someone to "practice" with.
Found him. For some reason I had to do it au naturel: no condom, in NY in 1987. Not too bright, eh. He wasn't keen, though we were both HIV negative. But he acquiesced, and we got down to it. Or he got down on it. And it was very uncomfortable...until he came. Then that wee bit of extra lube hit some sort of switch, leaving me to utter the immortal words "don't even think about pulling that out of me yet." It was like the lightbulb above my head flicked on, burned bright and slid up my bum. Magique.
So the 64000$ question is:
Is the hole more than the sum of its parts?
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2003-07-22 07:16 pm (UTC)MommyB
-will I ever get off my ass and go ask Vince for that backrub?
no subject
Date: 2003-07-22 08:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-22 08:37 pm (UTC)Perhaps I just haven't had the right partner yet, but I just don't get it...
(do you know Madonna's Dick Tracy soundtrack? Why oh why am I suddenly thinking, "my bottom hurts just thinkin' about it..."??? :)
no subject
Date: 2003-07-22 08:54 pm (UTC)Oh spank you! now tha't something that doesn't work for me, ass slapping during nookie?
no subject
Date: 2003-07-22 08:57 pm (UTC)I once asked a man to spank me during, just to see what it was like. We both got the giggles so bad we *almost* had to stop what we were doing...
no subject
Date: 2003-07-22 09:25 pm (UTC)I think success for the uptight (or the fisting bottom) depends on getting friendly with some deep-down prehistoric part of your brain that controls those muscles. I've watched guys do it (and managed it myself now and then), and when they manage to get completely relaxed, their pupils dilate and they become rutting animals totally centered in the here and now.
It's hard to do, but if you get there and can manage to stay there (in spite of some bumping and grinding activity), the resulting orgasm is transcendent. I expect an alien birthing device would help a great deal with that.
For those who aren't so uptight, I expect it's mostly just an interesting sensation combined with symbolism they enjoy. They're missing out.
no subject
Date: 2003-07-22 09:41 pm (UTC)My last relationship didn't feature much fucking, and only now are my eyes being opened to the subtlety and artistry of the thing.
no subject
Date: 2003-07-23 12:07 am (UTC)Well then you, m'dear, are a natural!
no subject
Date: 2003-07-23 12:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-23 02:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-23 12:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-23 02:56 pm (UTC)let's talk about...
Date: 2003-07-22 10:05 pm (UTC)I've noticed that a lot of women (as well as men) have a real hangup about anal sex. Sort of a visceral *yeeeuuchh* reaction that surprises me every time. Maybe it's because it's a submissive position? I dunno.
As for your question, the only thing I can think of to say to anyone venturing down the primrose path is Lube, lube and may I just say again LUBE!
Hi there. How's that for a get to know ya comment? :)
Re: let's talk about...
Date: 2003-07-23 12:09 am (UTC)Yes, I'm a firm believe in lube. Me prefer glide over friction. Giving or receiving.
no subject
Date: 2003-07-22 11:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-23 12:10 am (UTC):)
no subject
Date: 2003-07-23 12:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-23 12:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-23 12:23 am (UTC)Oh you go directly to heaven with that comment!
no subject
Date: 2003-07-23 12:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-23 03:25 am (UTC)Reciprocity on this activity is touchier for me- have enjoyed with right person, but that isn't usual for me. Not something I take lightly. For me, it's pretty emotionally loaded, and its so intimate. I have a hrd time understanding guys who can do it on a "trick" basis. That would just be too scary for me.,
no subject
Date: 2003-07-23 05:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-23 05:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-23 04:59 pm (UTC)no subject
*wink*
no subject
Date: 2003-07-23 05:00 pm (UTC)Definitely more than the sum of its parts
Date: 2003-07-23 07:21 am (UTC)Funny thing though, I wasn't this way until I started taking testosterone in transitioning quantities. And once that happened I became voracious. Fisting is one of my favorite pastimes. :)
Another interesting curiosity is that althouh I had tried and tried and tried to find and exploit that odd portion of anatomy called a G-spot, it never worked liek it was supposed to, UNTIL I started using my ass. I think it lends credence to the idea that the G-spot is some sort of vestigal analog to the prostate and the hormone therapy enabled it to finally develop to the point where it could actually DO something. Granted, it's a spongy area and not an actual gland, but whatever the heck it is when it goes I am de-boned in the most potent way possible.
There was some talk of that in the LJ community FTMs in Bed recently...
Re: Definitely more than the sum of its parts
Date: 2003-07-23 05:01 pm (UTC)Lube and timing
Date: 2003-07-23 08:42 am (UTC)Almost all of the mind-bendingly great anal sex I've had as a bottom has been with leather dykes, but I'm sure, in this great life of mine there will be plenty more time to figure thisout with the right guy someday.
Haven't had any complaints about my topping in this favorite of all sports, but I don't think I've done it enough. Most of the guys I've been with haven't been interested, sadly.
Re: Lube and timing
Date: 2003-07-23 05:02 pm (UTC)Re: Lube and timing
Date: 2003-07-23 05:52 pm (UTC)You're on.
no subject
Date: 2003-07-23 11:17 am (UTC)I agree with Max that so much of it is psychological, and whoever said that a confident top is a big part of it speaks for me, too. Not being such an *emotional* tight-ass might me help as well!
I probably wouldn't keep at bottoming if it weren't for the fact that I value being good with partners, and I get asked to top fairly often, and I don't think I'll be a particularly good (anal) top until I understand having a fabulous time as a bottom better. I know I'm also a much better top when I'm with a bottom who knows what he/she's doing.
Now, if we were talking about oral play, I wouldn't have ANY of these little hangups and unresolved desires. Well, fewer, anyway. :)
no subject
Date: 2003-07-23 05:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-23 06:45 pm (UTC)An undergrad physics major AND a doctor of American lit, a Gemini, a bisexual, a polyamorist ... if I wind up an exclusive top or bottom, alert the media, and watch out for further signs of the Apocalypse, it will be that much of a surprise.
I will need much more testing before I'm ready to conclude anything about my anal pleasures. Meanwhile, I am aware of, not so much internalized homophobia, as difficulty "letting go." A good bottom headspace is elusive.
You will have to help me figure this out. Stud. When did you say you were back in this hemisphere, exactly??
no subject
Date: 2003-07-23 07:04 pm (UTC)An undergrad physics major AND a doctor of American lit, a Gemini, a bisexual, a polyamorist ...
Doesn't this all reduce to Gemini? Don't both answer at once...
no subject
Date: 2003-07-23 03:19 pm (UTC)I know that while I had butt-bottomed a several times in my twenties, it wasn't until my thirties that I started to enjoy it, really get into the sensations. No, I don't know why.
Hey, I think it says a LOT about you as a person how many women responded to this post. It says something very positive about you. Cool.
no subject
Date: 2003-07-23 05:06 pm (UTC)And yeah, the range of folks invovled here is very cool. Yourself included.