bum de bum bum

[jawnbc]

So I was sitting in Burger King today, scarfing down a Whopper,

Suffice to say I see no overt link between a cheesburger and hot man2man sex. Except that I fantasize about a 3 hour session followed by pizza in bed.

But I digress.

I love my hole. I do. I take good care of it, keep it nice and tidy, and try to make sure it's "massaged" at lease twice a week. Props to querrelle for help in this regard. How selfless of him.

A long time ago I was one of the Uptight ones. No one got near my rear with anything bigger than their tongue. No fingers, certainly no cocks. On the queer continuum, being butt boy trumped being sockcucker--at least to me. Apparently there are a number of str8 guys who'll take it up the bum but who'd never suck cock. Cause that's gay. Eh? So I rooted my way through many, many men. I enjoyed poking other guys, and I suspect they enjoyed my poking them. Gawd knows I endeavoured to break the cycle of Oirish fooking (Oirish foreplay: aw jaysus tanks alot, dat woz fookin grand!), and make it last more than 30 seconds. Being a hunky sockcucking top made me very popular.

Then I fell in love with another man. D'oh! And it stood to reason that, if I couldn't be expected to go without pumping hole on a regular basis, how could I expect my boyfriends to do without? So equipped with a copy of Anal pleasure and health, I started training my hole to survive getting fucked. The book helped. Poppers really helped. Eventually I worked myself up to a small vibrator (15". KIDDING!), and began to look for someone to "practice" with.

Found him. For some reason I had to do it au naturel: no condom, in NY in 1987. Not too bright, eh. He wasn't keen, though we were both HIV negative. But he acquiesced, and we got down to it. Or he got down on it. And it was very uncomfortable...until he came. Then that wee bit of extra lube hit some sort of switch, leaving me to utter the immortal words "don't even think about pulling that out of me yet." It was like the lightbulb above my head flicked on, burned bright and slid up my bum. Magique.

So the 64000$ question is:

Is the hole more than the sum of its parts?

Comments

[sinnabor.livejournal.com]

Interesting topic. One of those things I'm perpetually working on in my mind is a how-to to explain how I learned to take it up the bum. Doesn't sound like it was easy for either of us.

I think success for the uptight (or the fisting bottom) depends on getting friendly with some deep-down prehistoric part of your brain that controls those muscles. I've watched guys do it (and managed it myself now and then), and when they manage to get completely relaxed, their pupils dilate and they become rutting animals totally centered in the here and now.

It's hard to do, but if you get there and can manage to stay there (in spite of some bumping and grinding activity), the resulting orgasm is transcendent. I expect an alien birthing device would help a great deal with that.

For those who aren't so uptight, I expect it's mostly just an interesting sensation combined with symbolism they enjoy. They're missing out.

[querrelle.livejournal.com]

For me the psychology/symbolism of the event is probably just as important as the physical sensations. I love a good fuck, but it's crucial for me is that the top be 'convincing', otherwise I just can't get to that state you're talking about. Sadly this seems to happen increasingly rarely these days.

My last relationship didn't feature much fucking, and only now are my eyes being opened to the subtlety and artistry of the thing.

[jawnbc]

nly now are my eyes being opened to the subtlety and artistry of the thing

Well then you, m'dear, are a natural!

[querrelle.livejournal.com]

Oh no, I shall need PLENTY more practice and instruction under your expert tutelage!

[sinnabor.livejournal.com]

Oh, no doubt psychology and symbolism are important. But that can be true of anything you do sexually. I was thinking in particular why having something up yer ass is more than it would seem at first blush.

[jawnbc]

Agreed. Did you notice how small my hands are?

[sinnabor.livejournal.com]

Uh, no, I hadn't. Even ignoring the fact that they're 7440 miles away, I doubt they're small enough - I'm still not an experienced bottom.