The fun is in the dag
May. 10th, 2005 02:26 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jawnbcOk time to discuss the deep dark underbelly of Eurovision: the dagginess. Truth be told, one can do surprisingly well--if they're so bad they're cute. In a sort of "we-are-so-advanced-compared-to-you-but-you-got=spunk-and-we-like-spunk" way.
Take last year: Albania enters for the first time, and they're so excited they select their singer and song 6 months before the contest (before Xmas). Their choice is their Pulp Idol, Anjeza Shahini. Of course she's got a mop of thick black hair, spots/zits (Clearsil costs a month's wages in Tirana, after all), and the requisite UniBrow™. And it that's not enough, apparently Albania TV doesn't have anyone who can read English...or French...very well. Because they've selected a song that 4.5 minutes long: you only get 3 minutes (a bit longer is OK). I wish I could find "before" photo that did her justice...
Anyway, deep down in that nearly 5 minutes of....ooooow my ears hurt.....is a pop song. So Albania hires some 5th rate Europop producer to chop it down (by speeding it up), writes a bizarre Englesque lyric ("how strange the feeling in your soul, when love invades your very being. Another me, or so I'm told, and life takes on another meaning"), and arranges it to a thump=thump-thump beat. Then they hire the best groomers Albania Lek can buy, which ain't much. This how Anjeza looked for the semi-final (qualifier) round this time last year:
And you thought your aunties burned all their polyster prom dresses back in the 70s? They apparently missed one, the pink one. There is is, shiniing like a $1 Xmas tree ornament, complete with backyard home perm. Anjeza can sing, even if she's not terribly...what's the word, can't be too mean...polished. Yeah, not terribly polished. But she finishes in the top 10 and will be in the final. Woot!
Time for a new look. And for some reason she decides that Eurovision is all about national pride. Not that she sang in her own language, or wore anthing that could be construed as an Albanian ethnic costume. But she's proud dammit, and she's come this far--this one's for Tirana! And maybe her cousins in servitude in Kosovo? So she decides to sing in a dress made from the official colours of Albania. Sadly, due to a poor economy, the government of Albania hasn't been able to re-brand themselves from the communist days, but one's flag is one's flag.
Red and Black. I'm not making this up, I couldn't. And now her hair's straightened, she got less makeup on, and she's going for it. "I know! It's Just! A Dre-eam! I feel! I love! This li-ife!"
7th place, out of 36 countries. Only one place below Sweden's been-working-it-and-trying-to-get-to-the-Eurovision-for-20-years dawdy diva Lena P.
However I fear this year we won't have any daggy-but-darling singers. Of those from whom we expect a tacky presentation, they're either too old (Andorra, and her robopop ice cold Dutch delivery), or a bloke (Slovenia, with his half-shaven chest). Belarus is a tempting bet, but she's stunningly beautiful if tone deaf--and she plays the "I am gorgeous, you want to root me, you will ignore please my singing" card well. Although this year's Ukrainian entry is 3 chubby rapper dudes, whose song was the anthem of the Orange Revolution.
Of course it's not all fun and games. A couple of queens run the annual Barbara Dex Award for the worst dressed entry. Will it be the Austrian chick in the dirdnl? The German, Russian, or Swiss rock chycks? Or maybe we should just hand it over to the four Norwegian faux glam rockers right now?
Nah that wouldn't be fair...it's a contest after all.
Take last year: Albania enters for the first time, and they're so excited they select their singer and song 6 months before the contest (before Xmas). Their choice is their Pulp Idol, Anjeza Shahini. Of course she's got a mop of thick black hair, spots/zits (Clearsil costs a month's wages in Tirana, after all), and the requisite UniBrow™. And it that's not enough, apparently Albania TV doesn't have anyone who can read English...or French...very well. Because they've selected a song that 4.5 minutes long: you only get 3 minutes (a bit longer is OK). I wish I could find "before" photo that did her justice...
Anyway, deep down in that nearly 5 minutes of....ooooow my ears hurt.....is a pop song. So Albania hires some 5th rate Europop producer to chop it down (by speeding it up), writes a bizarre Englesque lyric ("how strange the feeling in your soul, when love invades your very being. Another me, or so I'm told, and life takes on another meaning"), and arranges it to a thump=thump-thump beat. Then they hire the best groomers Albania Lek can buy, which ain't much. This how Anjeza looked for the semi-final (qualifier) round this time last year:
And you thought your aunties burned all their polyster prom dresses back in the 70s? They apparently missed one, the pink one. There is is, shiniing like a $1 Xmas tree ornament, complete with backyard home perm. Anjeza can sing, even if she's not terribly...what's the word, can't be too mean...polished. Yeah, not terribly polished. But she finishes in the top 10 and will be in the final. Woot!
Time for a new look. And for some reason she decides that Eurovision is all about national pride. Not that she sang in her own language, or wore anthing that could be construed as an Albanian ethnic costume. But she's proud dammit, and she's come this far--this one's for Tirana! And maybe her cousins in servitude in Kosovo? So she decides to sing in a dress made from the official colours of Albania. Sadly, due to a poor economy, the government of Albania hasn't been able to re-brand themselves from the communist days, but one's flag is one's flag.
Red and Black. I'm not making this up, I couldn't. And now her hair's straightened, she got less makeup on, and she's going for it. "I know! It's Just! A Dre-eam! I feel! I love! This li-ife!"
7th place, out of 36 countries. Only one place below Sweden's been-working-it-and-trying-to-get-to-the-Eurovision-for-20-years dawdy diva Lena P.
However I fear this year we won't have any daggy-but-darling singers. Of those from whom we expect a tacky presentation, they're either too old (Andorra, and her robopop ice cold Dutch delivery), or a bloke (Slovenia, with his half-shaven chest). Belarus is a tempting bet, but she's stunningly beautiful if tone deaf--and she plays the "I am gorgeous, you want to root me, you will ignore please my singing" card well. Although this year's Ukrainian entry is 3 chubby rapper dudes, whose song was the anthem of the Orange Revolution.
Of course it's not all fun and games. A couple of queens run the annual Barbara Dex Award for the worst dressed entry. Will it be the Austrian chick in the dirdnl? The German, Russian, or Swiss rock chycks? Or maybe we should just hand it over to the four Norwegian faux glam rockers right now?
Nah that wouldn't be fair...it's a contest after all.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-05-10 06:33 am (UTC)I'm proud to call you family.
no subject
Date: 2005-05-10 07:40 am (UTC)Oh Albania
Date: 2005-05-10 07:38 am (UTC)I loved Albania's song and the girl. They got my televote (I voted for Andorra too, but because they sing in Catalan, hence the "only" 12 points they get from catalan spaniards, LOL).
I'm eager to see the contest this year. I haven't found how to celebrate the party altogether this year, since other years organiser, Miguel Angel (who is incidentally a music teacher), is going to be on vacation in Tenerife.
BTW, in Spain we are beggining to get BOMBED by our song "Brujeria", which, btw, has made feminists angry because it might sound like a woman's submission to a man. Go figure! However, I really liked the video!
Re: Oh Albania
Date: 2005-05-10 09:22 am (UTC)Give us Ramon, aching to be filled by you!
Re: Oh Albania
Date: 2005-05-10 09:24 am (UTC)Re: Oh Albania
Date: 2005-05-10 09:36 am (UTC)One of the greatest ESC songs ever! She's singing backing vocals for Andorra this year!
Re: Oh Albania
From:Andorra
From:Re: Andorra
From:Re: Andorra
From:Re: Oh Albania
Date: 2005-05-10 09:32 am (UTC)I wonder where's Ramon now... Most of the spanish eurovision singers have vanished... They say in Spain that eurovision is cursed and it's the fastest way to make someone disappear!
Re: Oh Albania
Date: 2005-05-10 10:12 am (UTC)Re: Oh Albania
From:Ramon
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From:Selma with a cock
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From:2004 Top Totty
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From:Oh no!
Date: 2005-05-10 08:03 am (UTC)Before the Eurovision contest she was a teenage rocker and wasn't that *awful*. But with a shitty song, a horrible dress and a dreadful performance... No way what she did.
BTW, if you feel a little queer today, go visit the dress designer's site, Agatha Ruiz de la Prada: http://www.agatharuizdelaprada.com
I don't know if you heard about the techno-pop spanish bear duet, called Vanity Bear (I'm a friend of them - and I'm actually kinda proud of them). They're even featured in Bear Music 3 CD.
They dedicated one of their songs to this designer (who is married to a famous conservative journalist known to have recorded an S/M video with a black woman from Guinea Ecuatorial), the song's name is "Soy un fan de Agatha Ruiz de la Prada" and you can find it in their site http://www.vanitybear.com
Re: Oh no!
Date: 2005-05-10 09:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-05-10 08:45 am (UTC)I see he's been raiding Amy Grant's wardrobe (http://www.eurovision.tv/images/imagegallery/07_slovenia_14.jpg) ... which is what I would have done if I had won Switzerland's national selection - maybe next year.
no subject
Date: 2005-05-10 09:07 am (UTC)Well if Vanille Ninje (let's make them sound a bit more Européene) does as well as we expect, you could be next in a line of outsourced contingent worker/performers. Didja happen to catch the 89 Lausanne contest on the Israeli site? It starts with the worst, most tedious beginning ever, then Céline comes out, kills on Ne Partez pas Sans Moi. Then the smarmy hosts thank her for winning, sort of, carefully avoiding her speaking too much with her pronounced Montréal accent.
Then she sings Where Does My Heart Beat Now? (world début actually) and show everyone she would be a person to watch.
no subject
Date: 2005-05-10 09:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-05-10 09:24 am (UTC)Though it was criminal that our Dawn didn't rate top 3.
Birmingham
From:Céline
Date: 2005-05-10 11:10 am (UTC)And looking at the old videos, how much work has this woman had? Joan Rivers eat your heart out! (If it hasn't been nip/tucked aleady).
Re: Céline
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From:no subject
Date: 2005-05-10 11:13 am (UTC)I have to try to find the 89 Lausanne contest on the Isreali site.
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From:Me too! Me too!
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From:Anjeza
Date: 2005-05-10 08:56 am (UTC)Re: Anjeza
Date: 2005-05-10 09:02 am (UTC)Re: Anjeza
Date: 2005-05-10 09:19 am (UTC)When love invades your very being
Another “me” or so I’m told
And life takes on another meaning.
Day after day, I go through the motions,
Stumbling my way, life is a blur
Slave of my love, of my emotions
You’re in my eyes, you’re in my heart
One kiss, one heartbeat, in time,
a kiss, the moment, is mine.
I close my eyes, I breathe
I’m Queen of the world of Make Believe!!
You make me feel, a little crazy
You make me see your tears are true
You make my days and nights so hazy,
You make me feel the image of you.
Choir: You make me feel
Soloist: a little crazy
Choir: You make me see
Soloist: Your tears are true
Choir: You make me feel
Soloist: Image of you
I know it’s just a dream
I feel, l love, this life
Re: Anjeza
From:Re: Anjeza
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From:The CD
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From:Re: La Vache Quebecois
Date: 2005-05-10 11:50 am (UTC)And I'm not the one defending Miss Mariah. Now if you want real Lawn Guyland, you have to talk about Taylor Dane and Debbie Gibson...
Re: La Vache Quebecois
Date: 2005-05-10 11:52 am (UTC)Re: La Vache Quebecois
Date: 2005-05-10 04:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-05-10 02:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-05-10 09:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-05-10 11:44 pm (UTC)